guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
