Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
In America we eat man semen.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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