yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
