I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
There r osticjed everywhere
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
