Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
