If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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