So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
