my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
