hell yes lets make some ravioli
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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