Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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