Don't EVER smell your tampon
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
