I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
