We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
