wat bout pragnant strippers??
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize