I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
