okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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