found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
