Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
