How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
