I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
