I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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