then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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