I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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