I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
