You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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