I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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