So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
