This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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