i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
