I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
