Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
