I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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