Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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