Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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