I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
