oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
