Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
