just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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