Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
