Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
