Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
