i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize