and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
