How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
being pregnant is like rehab
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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