Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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