you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
