I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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