Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
