Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
