when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
