If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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