Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
