youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you had me at cake vodka
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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