ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
