well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize